Changing eyes

Close-ups of Walter and Logan at around the same age.

Our Vile Bodies

I have read several good articles recently about various topics of interest to women. Aside from the general nature of the articles the topics were dissimilar. However, I noticed a general tendency in all towards affirmation of the beauty of a woman's body despite the messages society bombards us with about what we should look like to be happy. I think I have my parents and wonderful friends/community and finally my husband to thank in large part that I hardly relate to feeling the need to conform to such ideas. I don't mean to say that I have never wished for a more beautiful face or body or bemoaned the fact that I was awkward-looking. I spent my share of time in the mirror trying to see at what angle my cheeks would look less chubby. But I never remember - however high or low I figured myself on the scale of outward beauty - taking that impression as reflective of or the source of my worth as a human being. I had no idea how much I had to be thankful for that! I still don't have a perfect attitude towards my body keeping in mind the balance of its fallen nature with a chance for redemption but at least I don't feel as though I have too much other baggage to lay down before working on a proper attitude about it.

Strawberries

Snack break!

Water

It was HOT today! I'm sure the topic already figured in my posts last summer but when heatwaves hit I cannot be thankful enough for the basement apartment I usually bemoan. Although the humidity seems to be right up there in the 90s, at least the temperature seems to remain at a fairly comfortable level. When we do venture outside it's usually connected with some sort of water-play. These pictures were from some of the frequent play-breaks while the boys were washing the car a few days ago.

These hands

Today's fishing spot

James caught this one today.

Typical Summer pattern

On free evenings and weekends: the boys fish and explore, Walter sleeps and plays, I read and take pictures. It's just about perfect.

keep calm and raise a toddler

"How could you do that?" "There's no reason to act that way!" "Just calm down and try again." These and other words to a similar tune are more than just occasionally popping into my running dialogue with my two-year-old these days. He, understandably, gets frustrated on a fairly frequent basis and I must say is usually good at trying to act well as we try to give him the tools he needs to respond to frustrating circumstances. He may be good for a two-year-old but he's still a two-year-old. And struggling to put one's own boots on is the toddler's daily battle just as struggling to keep the household running is the parent's. It may seem easy for an adult to control her overt emotions past the point that a toddler can but saying something along the lines of "there's no reason to act like that" doesn't help and is putting on blinders to reality. There certainly is a reason that a toddler is acting one way or another. In some ways this is one of the times in life when acting out is most easily explained. Not to ignore the idea of original sin's place in misbehaviour, but I shall only attempt to deal with the outer factors here to hold my focus. Often, in our household, the variables that add up to my child's meltdown are more in my control than my toddler's. Has he had enough sleep? Has he eaten recently/properly? Have I asked him to push his comfort zone with meeting a lot of strangers in an unknown place? Have I kept him going from one place/event to another several days in a row? (Ha! These last two make me sound like a socialite). But most importantly in my experience is: how have I been acting? Not only does my boy model my speech and behaviour, he also is quite sensitive to moods and actions that I unconsciously display every day. As I exasperatedly raise my voice to tell him to calm down, my words echo back at me. Yes, dealing with a toddler's frustrated response to his frustrations is one of the most frustrating things I've ever experienced but I am the adult in the situation. I am supposed to have perspective, faith, experience, a sense of humor, self-control, and a time-strengthened character to help with holding my cool. Then one day I find myself yelling. How could I do that? There is no justification to act that way. But as I realize this I know that, calming down, I can try again...and again, and again... And the character-building continues.

blossom time

Second-rate pictures?

As I've said before, I feel badly dumping too many pictures into my fb. I know everyone says they like seeing them but it's gotta get annoying at some point so I try to stay back from that point. Because I know a lot fewer people look at this blog, however, I dump them here. So here are a few that I had wanted to post to fb but that didn't quite make the cut (usually because they are similar to ones I have already posted).

First day of fishing

I've been meaning to write often but haven't had the time to sit down and do it. I do have a bunch of pictures to put up, though. Now that I look back at the last post and how many things we've done since I am feeling that I should be putting up even more pictures than I had planned but maybe I'll just stick with the original post and try to get more up another time. We went fishing for the first time this season one warm evening last week. It was interesting having Walter along because it was his first time so added a dynamic to what we were used to but also he is such a large part of our family that it seems strange to think he wasn't there all the times we went before he was born.

"Logan do it!"

If I had a quarter for every time I heard that I'd be set for change. We've started a stage of broader independence these past few days. I also hear, less frequently, "Logan's turn". I've always tried to be fairly hands-off as he develops and only help to help, rather than to do it for him but apparently even my little helpfulness is a little too much sometimes! It's neat to see him developing. I found he's made several leaps ahead at the park in particular. I think this jump in development is intensified by the fact that we've only just begun to play at the park again after a winter's hiatus. So what he was able to do four to six months ago suddenly is outstripped. Some new accomplishments he thought to try himself but I also notice him watching older children and then attempting to do what they can do. Often he can do it and afterwards his grin of triumph seems to light up the whole park (at least from my seat in the stands). I know it's part of growing up but it's a little bittersweet to see how he is imitating his peers more and seems no longer to need me. But then I watch as he tries to climb the ladder to the slide. He slips but doesn't cry. Thinking no one notices, he continues and reaching the top he tremblingly calls for me. I'm already there and my presence gives him the confidence to go down the big slide. He never cried from his fall and I don't mention it but we have a big long squishy hug once he's down and he's restored to confidence once again as he re-ascends the ladder. So I turn to take pictures of my baby in the swing for the first time...