Monday, January 02, 2017
"The mother's love is at first an absorbing delight, blunting all other sensibilities; it is an expansion of the animal existence; it enlarges the imagined range for self to move in: but in after years it can only continue to be joy on the same terms as other long-lived love -- that is, by much suppression of self, and power of living in the experience of another." - George Eliot from Felix Holt: The Radical Chapter 1
Wednesday, December 14, 2016
Less than 24 hours after having written the last post about things I am thankful for we received some devastating news. We're in a bit of a state of limbo at the moment while we wait for the news to be confirmed or not but among the swirl of thoughts and emotions I have had, I've considered whether the list of things I am thankful for makes a difference. I think there will be points where nothing else matters but I do think these blessings will make a difference.
Monday, December 12, 2016
So many things come to mind to be thankful for even just stuffed into the last couple days. We just finished the choir's last (and biggest) Christmas performance for this season and it went off quite well. Tied up in that is gratitude for music, Christmas, the friendships and community the choir has provided, and the opportunity to sing regularly and to play piano just as regularly. Then I spent over four hours yesterday catching up with a best friend and former roommate I haven't had a chance to talk to for several months. Not all the missed news was wonderful but the re-connecting was. Then I have an ultrasound scheduled for tomorrow so I am looking forward to seeing the new baby. Also connected to that I am so very very thankful that I have passed the sickness part of pregnancy and am feeling much better than I had ever given myself hope to believe was possible. Tied with that I was thankful I was feeling well enough that we were able to give the boys birthday parties no matter how small. And I am now getting more and more excited to be preparing for Christmas. I mentioned I'd like a wreath on the door this year and, a couple days ago, picked up a frame for one and some filler. When I got home from our dress rehearsal there was my wreath, hanging on the front door. It was put together more beautifully than I would have achieved. And that is tied to one of the huge over-arching reasons to be thankful: James is starting to be able to handle the effects of his concussion (or at least learning to recognize and work within its limits) and has managed to get a few things done around here (like the wreath) and has really put in a huge effort to stay calm and more positive and even help out! That sounds pretty pitiful but the debilitating effects reach into every corner of our life and overcoming even a part of them is a huge victory!
Thursday, September 29, 2016
Saturday, August 13, 2016
They say it's darkest just before sunrise but this summer the image that comes more to mind is that it is hottest and driest just before the storm. It has been a particularly hot and dry summer here and recently we've been in a drought. Two days ago after ten minutes outside we all came back in for fear of heat stroke. But then a storm system moved in over-night and yesterday started out cloudy. I woke disgruntled, however, because the system and little rain we got only seemed to be pouring (somehow) more humidity into the mix. But over the course of the day it seemed to be getting slowly cooler until the difference was unmistakable. We finally had cooled off to a more comfortable temperature (even with the humidity). Today we got the inches of rain we so desperately needed and even more cool temperatures. The difference within 48 hours is difficult to believe. I would like to think that this weather pattern is an image of how we are faring as a family. We're at the point where the clouds have rolled in and a certain amount of rain has fallen but it's still in some ways more hot and sticky than it had been previously. But we have hope that more rain or a progression of the front will bring the relief we have been at times almost unable to believe is on its way. To continue the metaphor, in this drought we have lost a certain number of plants in the garden but some have fared better than if there had been steady rain and clement temperatures. So there is that. I just have been trying to live now with what we have and see what comes next. Praise to God that we have made it this far!
Monday, May 30, 2016
Sunday, January 31, 2016
How did she get so big so quickly? When I think in terms of how long we've been dealing with James's concussion and its consequences, this 11 months seems like years but when I think in terms of this little one, it seems like I just blinked and we're here (aside from the way that I almost can't remember what it was like before she was with us). A short summary of her current abilities/milestones etc. She consistently says: dada, mama, hi, up, cat, numnum (food), uh-uh (no concerning something she shouldn't be touching), and just recently some form of 'bama' for grandma when play-talking on a phone. She has 6 teeth -- four up and two down, she scoots across the floor alternating sides with her feet but has been crawling also (although sometimes she just moves forward with her hands and then slides her knees along if the floor is slippery). It's much easier for her to carry things while scooting, though, and when she's upset she often grabs her blankie and sucks her thumb the whole way over to me. She pulls herself up a lot and has learned to kneel back down but doesn't like sitting back down. She loves the stairs and at any opportunity will climb to the top banging each step and shrieking as she goes. She communicates quite well and can be pretty determined about what she wants. She gets right in the middle of the boys' games and holds her own already (although they know to be careful of her). She's had her share of having to say sorry (gives a hug and a kiss for this). She loves music, bouncing and singing along to some of her favourite songs. She loves her brothers and adores her daddy. She can be pretty cuddly and wants her mommy but never really played strange to any strong degree. She is such a big part of our family and we all adore her!