Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Of all the various ways I had considered spending my New Year's Eve this year, nursing sick children and cleaning up vomit-soaked clothing and towels while talking to a public health nurse about the severity of my sons' fevers somehow wasn't on the list. But here we are. Thankfully they both have cooled down in the past couple hours but we were fairly worried for a while after supper tonight. This change in plans, although not pleasant or wished-for, has meant that we spent the day together thinking of future plans (we're going to look at a potential house this weekend) and relaxing as much as possible. As strange as it may seem, though, it feels like a fitting way to end this year. 2013 hasn't been a year of big milestones or changes (aside from losing some of James' family) but just slow growth and development. It has also been a fairly insular year in which we've spent the majority of our time and energy just as a family without reaching too far from ourselves. I don't think that this is an ideal position all the time but I think that it was important for us both to re-group after some set-backs but also to come to the understanding that what we have right now is more than we could ask for. Gratitude for what we have and peace with where we are and where we're headed are, I think, the governing points of the year. And because of that it may actually have been one of the more important years after all.
Tuesday, December 24, 2013
Sunday, December 22, 2013
It seems as though for the past few weeks we haven't had a day without snow. This is fine but it leaves us father-less for longer than we are used to. It's made me realize just how much I have come to rely on the time each day when Daddy comes home and takes over care of the boys (and often makes supper...I know, I am spoiled). I don't even have to get things done during this time, sometimes I just need to sit and check the internet but it gives me a break. I feel like these days when Daddy doesn't come home sometimes until after the boys are in bed, that the boys tend to be harder to deal with. This is likely partially due to the change in routine and the fact that they miss their Dad but I am convinced more and more that it's most directly influenced by the fact that I tend to be less patient and loving in my interactions with them when I don't have my husband around and don't get that break. Yes, children are born with the ability and desire to disobey or have their own way but the more I deal with my boys and try to help them grow and learn, the more I realize that the tone of the household is often set directly by me. Days that I am impatient and grumpy often see the boys turn sullen and disobedient. I want my husband back! But, perhaps I should think more about keeping my attitude positive until the snow decides to let up (oh, and please don't snow over Christmas!!).
Sunday, December 08, 2013
It's strange that, although various large tracts of our lives are in almost complete upheaval, recently I've been feeling a deep sense of peace with my three men. I don't know if it's just me being an ostrich with her head in the sand but I picture our family in an igloo (not sure why not a house but that's the image I constantly project) with a blizzard outside but it's quiet and warm where we are. I'm going to try not to be completely corny in this post but lines like "all you need is love" actually seem to apply in weird ways. There are circumstances that I would think would make me worried or upset but I'm not. I love my husband and boys, they love me and whatever happens around and to us won't change that at least. I guess you never appreciate the peace that passes understanding until you're in a tumultuous situation. As James remarked to me just now, "our circumstances may not be the best but I feel like we're living in a fairy-tale." It's a strange juxtaposition but one that I really seem to be okay with. We'll see what the storm brings but for now we're sitting cozy.
Sunday, December 01, 2013
With my hair curly and James' straight it may seem as though the boys would inherit one or the other (okay I know it's not that simple but it's fun to think of that way) but so far both have such fine hair it's hard to tell how it will grow later. Walter woke from his nap the other day with a head full of curls, however, so perhaps this is a sign of things to come.