cop out

I am currently listening to a recording of the piano transcription of the second movement from Beethoven's seventh Symphony. I have the scores for Liszt's transcriptions of all of Beethoven's symphonies but have only recently jumped into a serious attempt to play them. I've fairly easily figured out the famous first movement of the fifth (it's most recognizable and probably among the easier movements to play technically speaking from my narrow viewpoint) but have had a little trouble with the second theme in this particular movement. The way the notes are printed give it a strange looking timing so I wasn't sure how to play it by sight and couldn't remember how it went by ear so I caved and am listening to it with the score before me. I feel slightly guilty about this in much the same way that I feel slightly guilty that I don't always push myself to try doing a fairly easy puzzle without looking at the picture. I'm sure if I exerted myself even a little bit I would be able to do it just fine but things are sometimes just easier when there is an easy out at hand. I could work the timing out on this piece and come up with the same result but perhaps life isn't always about how much one can challenge oneself. Perhaps there is something to be said to enjoying listening to a recording and perhaps even having my own playing of the piece improve both in the timing department and in that of dynamics, for example. Maybe I am trying to justify my laziness (I know I have my fair share of it and it doesn't need to get away with as much as it generally does) but maybe this is an area I don't really have to worry that much about. I don't think I'll ever really get over that slightly guilty feeling, though. Oh well.

Western fun

I just got back from a trip out west and of all the aspects I could record or muse over I think I shall merely post a picture of one of the fridge poems I wrote out there.

Bushels of beautiful biscotti

M has been making biscotti for her cousin's wedding and, as sometimes happens when she bakes, I spent some time taking pictures of the finished product (or at least what has been finished so far--I believe more batches shall be made tomorrow but I shan't be here). I think we should start an online baking business where she bakes, I take pictures and then we ship the product out. It's fun to think about in any case. Here are some of the myriad of pictures from this batch.

before they drop

There is a beautiful mature Magnolia in the backyard here at the College. I have been looking forward to living here while it bloomed this year and at last the buds have finally opened up and look gorgeous. Yet I am leaving tomorrow for the rest of the week and likely only have a small window of opportunity to enjoy this tree before all the petals drop. So, instead of mourning fate, I have taken a few pictures of the tree this afternoon and will post some of them here.




I am happy that I have not missed the blooms entirely and that it is such a beautiful day today to enjoy them. And now I think I shall get off this computer and get outside to do just that.

the eye

Even though this is regularly a transitional part of the year for me, the transitions this year seem to have affected me more than usual. Perhaps it has hit me harder because this time it is the people and things around me that seem to be changing more than me. I am not graduating, I am not moving from the routine of studies to the routine of summer, I am not moving anywhere; yet on every side, my community and friends are swirling madly while I stand in the centre, hoping for things to settle soon. It is a strange vantage point and I believe I am beginning to understand (or at least come to acknowledge) part of the sorrows a mother experiences as she is less and less able to accompany her children through all the changes of live.

People in general believe themselves to be the hero of their own stories until life comes along and--bit by bit--shaves away their pride and shows them their proper places. Perhaps there are some who play main roles but I am finding, more and more that my place is likely in the chorus. I've been reading a couple books lately in which the idea of the importance of the main character is discussed. In both it becomes evident (and, interestingly--along the lines of self-awareness and all that jazz--is fairly blatantly claimed) that the point of the book is not an exploration of the central character but of the extraordinary events that occur around him. It is true that in many cases narrators are utilized not for any outstanding merit or talents within them but rather for their being at the right place and time to observe events. This device is common and doesn't topple our idea of the importance of the central character unless it comes out that this narrator is the central character and is still of no importance. It is a fascinating possibility. I am not saying by this that I consider my life to be of no importance but rather that my importance more and more does not seem to lie in playing the central starring role. I think I'm getting better at appreciating that. In the mean time I suppose I shall just have to try to help my friends as best I can while they go through their various and sundry transitions. I'm thankful I have this opportunity.

dry skin

(from a garlic clove)

further studies

After going through a time when my future was--for the most part--up in the air, I have finally heard that I am accepted at Carleton to do my MA in English lit. It's a little strange because I tend to set my expectations low in order either not to be disappointed or to be pleasantly surprised but this time I had really convinced myself that it wasn't going to work out. It was good to have gone that far because I meant that I started looking at other options but it made finding out a huge surprise and readjustment of thinking of the future. This whole situation also makes my summer plans easier so hopefully they shall fall into place more readily now that I know something for certain.

Life is funny. Last night I was telling someone of my lack of plans for the future at the same time that the acceptance e-mail was sitting in my junk folder (yes, Yahoo doesn't seem to think it important enough to send to my inbox). It gives a different perspective on life and our expectations of what we know of the future and how things actually will work.

abuckabook

The other night I went out to pick up a few groceries for the College and 'happened' to stop at the one-dollar book table outside the bookstore conveniently located across the intersection from the grocery store. Four dollars and four books later, I went for groceries.

Today a few of us went on an adventure across town in search of one-dollar books and I came back with a sufficiently larger pile (to make up for the greater inconvenience of bussing out to Nepean and back).

Does anyone have a one-dollar bookshelf that I can have on which to store these books? I'm running out of room.

watch the flowers grow

We're having another bout of beautiful weather and yesterday morning I was able to clean up the back yard (I cleaned the front last Friday) and edge all the beds, prune/trim some of the trees and bushes and generally make the place a bit more spiffy all-round. The tulips, daffodills and crocuses are all popping up and look as though they will be blooming soon.

I can't tell you how delighted I was to be able to do yard work again! It made me think that perhaps landscaping should be more than just a stepping-stone to better things... Anyway, one consolation is that no matter what job I end up with whenever I get around to growing up, I should always be able to garden at least on the side.

Patience

I'm off in a bit to an interview with the govt. It will be strange because I know I won't hear anything more for ages (that is, providing it goes well). This whole process began in October and I feel as though I'm no more than halfway through the steps it takes. I have a theory that the actual test for whether or not someone is suitable for the job is not the interviews themselves but rather the wait between times; if one is able patiently to endure the extreme lag and stick with things, then one might be able to function within the governemental system.
Well I have nothing to lose by waiting so we'll see if my theory holds.

Simply Good

It's April

One of the ways we celebrated this foolish day.

Fungus

and fungi

Hehe

How?

It seems impossible considering what I claimed in my last post but life just got better. Today was a day to remember and cherish. My two student buddies and I spent the entire beautiful afternoon touring around downtown. I love Ottawa and it was so much fun to rediscover how much I love it while showing them all the little nooks and crannies that I used to frequent. A few paths are still closed/wet/snowy/muddy from winter but for the most part everything was open and wonderful. I wish I would have brought my camera along but when setting out we didn't know the extent of our explorations. We have vowed to go back within the next couple weeks so I shall have to hope that the light is as beautiful then as it was today. We toured around behind the Supreme Court and Parliament, looked at the grave of the Unknown Soldier and through the Market. Often my past rambles downtown were with a good friend of mine from University who I haven't seen much in the past little while so I was thinking about her quite a bit while revisiting the site of many a walk. We stopped in the bookstore of my dreams and browsed the enticing titles. As I was in the children's section, what to my wondering eyes should appear but that very friend from University! We were able to chat a bit and catch up and hopefully we'll be able to get together soon. Then we spent some time at the Basilica and then along Sussex to the Rideau falls. We sat on the wall of the viewing deck between the two falls and were still. The time we spent there is beyond description so I think I will leave it at that. We then made our way back home making a few detours and stops at other beautiful sites along the way. Not only was it good to be home but it was good to be home to chicken soup and apple crumble and an evening spent at my Gma's. I will say it again: "Life couldn't possibly, not even probably, life couldn't possibly better be."

Joy

There is no circumstance in particular to point to as the culprit. I could start listing things but they would not give the reason for this state, merely illustrating aspects of it. I am so happy to be exactly where I am right now. I cannot imagine a way to improve my life. As Danny Kaye sings in The Court Jester "Life couldn't possibly, not even probably, life couldn't possibly better be."



I love life.

papery paperwhites

They have dried out but still have so much beauty to give.

Green Green Grass

It has been so unseasonably warm the past few weeks that one would think that at last the weather has been minding the calandar. I have been enjoying the weather and, despite dour predictions of the horridness of summer that follows close on the heels of spring, I am happy for the change. I would also be happy had it remained cold but I like to enjoy what I have when I have it rather than looking forward to a time not yet here or back to a time past in either longing or dread and missing out on what we have. So as much as I like the way that the last picture I posted with the lemons looks against the blue background I think I shall also like the way it looks against the green background. We shall probably get at least one more dump of snow before winter leaves completely but that's great too. We have had beautiful weather this winter with not much to complain about so I am thankful.

Advice

When life hands you a lemon...


take pictures.

Two

This picture is a combination of the two things that have been on my mind (and about which I have posted) most recently. It also brings to mind something that I have thought about in the past--the place that environment holds in one's experience of something. This lovely copy of MacLennan's novel is a delight to read, easy to carry around, and lends a certain dignity to the material that would not be present (at least to me) if I were to read it in paperback form. It reminds me of the time when Em and I read King Solomon's Mines for a book club. The copy we read was a trade paperback with a garish cover and a sloppy-looking painting depicting the savage king and witch in all their glorious hideousness. We read the adventure story with much delight, enjoying both the reading and the (good-humoured) mocking of it. The others in the book discussion, however, had copies that were respectable, modest little hardcovers. Those who had read it in the hardcover versions were more ready to take it seriously or at least not immediately to categorize it as a boys' adventure story.

In similar manner I have noticed the very great difference than can come about concerning the effectiveness of a photograph with the change of background. This was brought home to me especially in my quest to photograph all things yellow in this house because in it I often took several pictures of the same object but in different positions and with various backdrops and the very tone of the yellow could be changed drastically with the slight change of any of the elements within the picture.

I am by no means a relativist but I think it would be good to keep in mind how much our opinions on certain things may be changed by aspects of our environment and that it is advisable not to put too much weight into something that may be just as easily swayed to the opposite extreme by such things as a bit of undigested potato or some underdone pork. All I'm saying is that although Marley really had more of the grave than gravy about him, it is still probably not advisable to swallow the toothpick.

a study in yellow

I finally took some pictures today and although I started with the usual assorted pictures of plants, within a short time I began to make yellow objects the exclusive subject of my pictures. Being my favourite colour, it probably is not surprising that yellow happened to figure prominently in my pictures but I have never previously photographed it to such purpose or extent. I would like to share a few of them but the narrowing down of my favourites is difficult. Here are a few of them:





I think that is enough for now but I shall likely be posting more in the next little while.