thoughts on genius

I have, in the past, thought to myself (and I believe expressed to others) that as much as I love and could not live without my various favorite forms of artistic expression, I lack that certain something that signifies the spark of genius. I have always tended to copy rather than create: sticking to the notes on the page, only drawing things from life or pictures, merely finding fun angles for photography of normal objects (although I'm not sure how this last could be any more creative), writing essays on assigned topics. But I begin to wonder if perhaps I merely copy because I have not been brave enough to put out the effort to be more creative. How much genius is merely blood, sweat and tears in disguise? Perhaps what is holding me back is that there is more hard work involved in the creative process than that in which I would wish to be involved; perhaps I am settling for second best because I have not the will-power and self-discipline to reach for the best.
I believe that I have been given a decently working brain, been placed in situations that have given me the opportunity to advance and exercise this gift, and am fairly creative in a basic way (otherwise I would not be drawn to creative hobbies in the first place). Why can I not take these gifts and advantages and do something with them?
Recently I have been daydreaming of how nice it would be if I could write songs. It is not a coincidence that I am teaching myself the basics of guitar and am finding that many good songs have fairly simple chord progressions behind them. What is stopping more people from writing great, catchy tunes? Does it come back to the presence or absence of that little thing called genius? Could I be a genius in heavy disguise?
Perhaps my problem is that I didn't actually get those star-studded daydreams of being famous out of my head right and properly while I was younger and am now feeling the effects. Of course one aspect that is more sobering to consider is what I would like to get out of this genius (were it to visit me in the first place). Am I looking to become famous (who needs that?) or do I want to bless other people?
Contentment is a character-trait that I have never had to strive after. What I have to guard against more is staying out of ruts. So how do I differentiate between an honest assessment of my lack of skill and merely passive resignation? Where is that nice balance where I know that I am reaching as far as I should?
Speaking of discipline, this is a great discussion but one that I should probably have saved for a time after my final papers have been written. Procrastination is an old friend and this time around I have even considered doing my Latin homework early to put off settling down to write papers... How am I ever to be a genius and reach for things above if I can't even get down to the simple, uncomplicated work of the boring, non-inspired duties of life?