Thinner

The title of one of the Stephen King books (made into a movie too, I think) popped into my head as I thought of this post. I believe the story goes somewhere along the lines of a fat man being cursed by becoming thinner. This doesn't seem too scary (isn't it the goal of many?) until lack of control enters the picture. No matter what he eats, he keeps losing weight. I don't know how it ends but one can see the potential for some sort of starvation amid piles of food. Hmm. Come to think of it, that isn't quite the picture I might want to draw here. Maybe we should drop that association but in some strange way it is slightly applicable.

Taking note of most of my experience and observation I had prepared myself upon my pregnancy never to have the same body as I had had previously. I am not claiming to have had an amazing body at any point. I was strong (spending years engaged in physical labour will do that to you apparently) but not with the sculpted look of a gym-bunny. I was for the most part pleased with my body: it was not ugly and it accomplished much of what I need it to. I always felt I should eat a bit more healthily and perhaps shed a bit of the extra fat I seemed to have hanging around but it never worried me. But upon entering pregnancy I was fully prepared to resemble a beached whale for most of the term until giving birth at which point I would start to tend more to the penguin aesthetic.

Imagine my surprise when during pregnancy it mostly looked like I was a little girl imitating pregnancy by holding a balloon under my shirt. I can say this in no way to boast because it really had nothing to do with anything I did. Apparently each person's body responds differently to pregnancy and I was one of the lucky ones who had few discomforts under the physical appearance head (note I say nothing of the unseen but much-felt discomforts that fall under other headings). Being unable to engage in the same level of physical activity during my pregnancy I unfortunately lost much of my muscle mass so in the end gained few actual pounds even by the end of the pregnancy.

They say a quick and easy way to shed ten pounds is to cut off one's head. I decided to give birth instead and, although not an easy procedure, in the end it was quite as effective with a better chance of surviving the ordeal (although it may not seem so at the time and, really, at times in our history it didn't hold a great survival rate either). So I dropped the package and finally had room in there to draw breath again. I was left with a bit of a belly and extremely thin arms (in my books). I paid little attention to my weight gain or loss because there was suddenly someone else whose weight seemed more important. I watched him grow and gain with pleasure and awe.

I happily saw my belly subside but bemoaned the loss of my muscles and, although carrying around a child is a fairly good work-out it still doesn't compare to shovelling gravel and lugging half a ton of flagstone around daily. I started to notice that I was losing weight in more than just my belly. My pants were requiring a belt more frequently and a couple pair I had been considering donating because they were a bit small on me before I became pregnant (and, as I thought, would never fit me again) were fitting me quite well.

It wasn't until my boy reached about twenty pounds when, seeing the bathroom scale at a friend's house, I decided to weigh myself to see just how much weight I had lost and I discovered that I had lost as many pounds off my pre-pregnant weight as my boy weighed!

Oh the wonders of breast-feeding! I can eat as much as I like and it all gets passed along as good fat to my growing boy! Of course, I am also more conscious to eat better foods now that I am introducing him to food so that may account for some of it too. A friend who is a year ahead of me in the motherhood line also mentioned to me to beware after weaning because it can just as unconsciously creep right back on (and this time it is more certain to creep on in the form of fat as opposed to muscle) but I'm currently enjoying the fat of the land while I can.

So it turned out to be true that my body would not be the same after having had a baby but instead of going the way I had anticipated I got back the body I had at fourteen (just before starting my first physically-demanding job). It's insane. I don't want to appear smug to those who have had trouble with weight gain or loss. I personally, although never to the extreme, have gone through times when I know I should lose even five pounds to be more healthy and have had an extremely hard time accomplishing such a goal. This is one of those things that has happened to me without any virtue arising from within. But I suppose I should enjoy it while I can. I never thought I would have to go out to buy an entire wardrobe of smaller clothes, though. Thank goodness for second-hand shops!