free-range children

As soon as I think I have anything to do with raising my child, he jumps far ahead of where I figured he would be all on his own. For example: every night I had been putting him to bed by lying down with him until he fell asleep. I knew I would have to change this in the next half-year or so but was not looking forward to figuring out how to make the break. We have very thin walls (technically speaking it's the ceiling) so I have tried never to have Logan cry in the bedroom because I don't want to disturb our neighbours. So letting him figure out how to sleep on his own (as is often the advice given these days) seemed out of the question. Then one day about a month ago now, I believe, he simply wanted to go in his own bed when it was time to sleep. I put him in it expecting him to be up and wanting back with me but all he did was touch my hand a few times and went straight to sleep all on his own! From then on he has always gone to sleep in his own bed and there have been no problems at all! So much for 'sleep training'! The second example has been happening over the past couple weeks. For a while now Logan has shown various signs of awareness and control concerning his bodily functions so we got a potty and informally set it up and talked about it a bit and let him roam around without a diaper for bits of time. A few days after getting the potty he actually peed in it but it was hard to tell if it was intentional or a fluke. So we kept up the conversation about it but didn't push anything. He has also, like most kids, I believe, enjoyed accompanying us into the bathroom and observed with interest what goes on. So one Saturday morning after a particularly stinky diaper I let him run around without a diaper for a while to air out. He then accompanied James into to bathroom and I could see him standing beside the toilet just watching at first but then changing his stance to copy his Dad. I thought this was cute but thought nothing more of it. However, about ten minutes later James called me softly to come look at something and there was Logan standing over his potty and peeing into it! His aim was a little off but he was certainly trying to get it in! Maybe we're just weird or maybe we're just parents (or maybe that comes to the same thing) but we took a picture of the resulting success and over-spray. I think it's cute, anyway. Since then he has been completely successful at running around here and going when he needs to. I have never had to ask him if he needs to or remind him to go.

I know that these things are steps and that there will be steps backwards also but what both these things point to in my mind is a reminder that although I may think that certain things are the result of good parenting, I am not in control of nearly as much as I may think I am. Broadening the idea a little, I think this can work both ways: we can take too much credit or we can blame ourselves too much over so many details of life. But that's all I have time to write for now because my independent free-range child also wants to be cuddled some times!