lighting the corners of my mind

Yesterday James was home most of the day (going out to work in the evening instead) so we had a cosy home day. We didn't do much but at the end of the day I thought back through the memories and realized that there were some lovely moments scattered through the day. I also realized from some of the things Logan is now doing and interested in that his age is similar to what mine was in some of my earliest memories. Not that what we've done before isn't important but it made me realize in a slightly different way that this is Logan's and Walter's lives and childhoods beginning, not just my life and parenthood continuing. It also made me realize Logan's much more a kid than a baby now. He took the couch cushions off and made a fort with his stuffed animals and I thought: of course. No one has to show children how to do it or tell them that it'll be fun - they apparently know innately.

We went to the science museum another day this week and spent the majority of the time on, around, and looking at the trains. Not that I'm surprised, they are pretty awesome! Apparently when Mom would take us as children the trains were our favourite part, too. Even Walter was fascinated. Whether or not these are Logan's earliest memories, I am certainly enjoying all the various things we've been able to do recently.

I love watching James with Logan. Even the smallest activities they do together are lovely to watch: having his Dad cut his hair again (in this house, cutting hair is a guy thing), using the scroll saw to cut out the shape of a rocket ship in wood and painting it together, cleaning up spilled milk (with no crying) and then mopping the floor excessively because it's fun to run it up and down the hallway (with the mop, of course). Even the way they interact while James gets Logan's supper or a snack ready is heartwarming. I saw a sign with the following saying: the only thing better than having you as my husband is our children having you as their dad. Okay, I usually avoid the sappy but this one applies so well to the dynamic at this time. It's just good for me to remember that I don't have to be the primary parent - there doesn't have to be a primary parent. We both contribute different and similar aspects as parents to this family and it's so interesting to see these dynamics play out.

And the day of little memories was finally complete when I curled up with my boys and read a good book to them. There are tough aspects to parenting and days I want to scream but then days like these go a long way to make the bad parts fade and disappear. Oh, and smiles like these don't hurt, either.