Nana

Happy Easter! It may be hard to be happy this Easter, however, because we got the call last night that my husband's grandmother had passed away. She was the last of our son's great-grandparents and the only one living while they were. My Grandma died a few months before Logan was born and was the only other of the great-grandparents even close to being around to see them. I was quite close with my Grandma and grew fairly close to James' in these past few years that I had known her. We would take the boys for a visit at least once - usually twice - a week and always enjoyed it. I am so happy that we were able to spend time with her these last few years. I don't know if Logan will have definite memories of her and I know Walter won't but family is so important and I believe that even if Logan has no clear memory to take away from our visits, I hope that they help instill a good grounding of love and duty for family. I also believe that my boys were helpful in brightening up her day whenever they were there. Nana's mind was just as sharp the last time we saw her as the first even though her body was rapidly deteriorating around it. She had been in and out (mostly in) the hospital for several months now with various complications and complications of complications. It's often the way but she eventually passed in her sleep and, I believe, as comfortably as possible. We all knew it was coming but it still is a shock. I don't know of any way death could come that wouldn't be. We had been planning on visiting her again today but won't be able to. I think, though, it was good that at our last visit we didn't know it would be our last one. I think, too, for Logan that if we had seen her when she was on oxygen and barely able to talk it would be hard to understand/explain and a frightening thing more than a positive visit. Or perhaps he would understand far too much - which could also be a problem. The last couple times we went he didn't want to give her a hug goodbye because she was 'sick'. I don't know where this strange fear came from or what he was really thinking about it but it makes me wonder how much he actually knew. Anyway she will be much missed but I am so very thankful that we were able to spend that time with her.