I started this blog back in my university days and originally used it to collect thoughts and inspirations I felt were worth recording. Once the boys came along, this blog quickly morphed into a diary of their milestones and mini-moments. I have never thought that the change made it any less my blog because the boys and their progress make up a huge part of my thoughts and serve as inspirations daily. However, this post will (I think) be all about me. Okay, I can't guarantee that I won't mention them but the focus will be on me. Why, you may ask? Because today is my thirtieth birthday! Thirty!? That's crazy-talk! Not that I never thought I'd make it to thirty but I never really thought I'd be thirty. But now that I'm here, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else! I know there's some thought that youth is something to be grasped or maintained but I see things more along the lines of it just keeps getting better.
Now that I am all set to write about myself, I don't really know what to say. Well, maybe a good start is what I've already discussed. Yesterday I was talking about this birthday with my cous-twin who turned thirty a few days ago and I'm happy to say that we are both pretty excited to be thirty. I get the feeling that the general expectation is that once one passes the mid-twenties one is not expected to look forward to or enjoy birthdays. But why? We were both pretty happy to be who we are now as opposed to who we were ten or even five years ago. Not that we even did things we regretted in the past or were horrible people but that who we are now is just better. In contrast to now, I was pretty naive in the past. I'm not saying there is something wrong with being that way. I was happy and I wouldn't want not to have been but I am also thankful that I have been through some tough times and can still love my life, my faith, and my fellow man. Sure, my life has always been good but it also was easy whereas now I can say that life is still good even when going through tough situations. I've been called naive even now and I know there are things I don't fully understand (or want to understand) but I know that life will continue to shape me and force me to grow with each passing year and incident.
One example of how I've grown noticeably in the past few years is that of standing up for what I think is right. I hate conflict and have always done what I could to avoid it rather than dealing with it. I still do what I can to avoid it when possible but I hope that I am also better at discerning when running away or ignoring problems will not make anything better. I think the two things that made the change for me first was realizing that it's one thing to make myself back down and compromise to get out of conflict but it's another to expect my husband to or to subject my children to unhealthy situations for the same end, and second was being exposed to unfortunate situations in which I had to stand up for my family and myself. In the past I was never pushed into situations that required a stand, I never was treated with anything but respect so I didn't have to develop the skills to make a stand for myself. I am certainly extremely appreciative of how I was raised and of my past life and I don't think I could have assumed a tougher stance as quickly without having that foundation of self-respect already firmly laid. And isn't that what life should ideally be? A good foundation that ensures the on-going building will be successful. I'm still far from finished yet (I think we've got the main floor framed at least, though) but I'm pretty happy with the progress so far (if I do say so myself).
Yeah, the boys even manage to take over most of the pictures of me in this post... My life is consumed. But I'm more than fine with that!
I started this blog back in my university days and originally used it to collect thoughts and inspirations I felt were worth recording. Once the boys came along, this blog quickly morphed into a diary of their milestones and mini-moments. I have never thought that the change made it any less my blog because the boys and their progress make up a huge part of my thoughts and serve as inspirations daily. However, this post will (I think) be all about me. Okay, I can't guarantee that I won't mention them but the focus will be on me. Why, you may ask? Because today is my thirtieth birthday! Thirty!? That's crazy-talk! Not that I never thought I'd make it to thirty but I never really thought I'd be thirty. But now that I'm here, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else! I know there's some thought that youth is something to be grasped or maintained but I see things more along the lines of it just keeps getting better. 
Now that I am all set to write about myself, I don't really know what to say. Well, maybe a good start is what I've already discussed. Yesterday I was talking about this birthday with my cous-twin who turned thirty a few days ago and I'm happy to say that we are both pretty excited to be thirty. I get the feeling that the general expectation is that once one passes the mid-twenties one is not expected to look forward to or enjoy birthdays. But why? We were both pretty happy to be who we are now as opposed to who we were ten or even five years ago. Not that we even did things we regretted in the past or were horrible people but that who we are now is just better. In contrast to now, I was pretty naive in the past. I'm not saying there is something wrong with being that way. I was happy and I wouldn't want not to have been but I am also thankful that I have been through some tough times and can still love my life, my faith, and my fellow man. Sure, my life has always been good but it also was easy whereas now I can say that life is still good even when going through tough situations. I've been called naive even now and I know there are things I don't fully understand (or want to understand) but I know that life will continue to shape me and force me to grow with each passing year and incident.
One example of how I've grown noticeably in the past few years is that of standing up for what I think is right. I hate conflict and have always done what I could to avoid it rather than dealing with it. I still do what I can to avoid it when possible but I hope that I am also better at discerning when running away or ignoring problems will not make anything better. I think the two things that made the change for me first was realizing that it's one thing to make myself back down and compromise to get out of conflict but it's another to expect my husband to or to subject my children to unhealthy situations for the same end, and second was being exposed to unfortunate situations in which I had to stand up for my family and myself. In the past I was never pushed into situations that required a stand, I never was treated with anything but respect so I didn't have to develop the skills to make a stand for myself. I am certainly extremely appreciative of how I was raised and of my past life and I don't think I could have assumed a tougher stance as quickly without having that foundation of self-respect already firmly laid. And isn't that what life should ideally be? A good foundation that ensures the on-going building will be successful. I'm still far from finished yet (I think we've got the main floor framed at least, though) but I'm pretty happy with the progress so far (if I do say so myself).
Yeah, the boys even manage to take over most of the pictures of me in this post... My life is consumed. But I'm more than fine with that!
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