How to lose ten pounds in one day*

I'm not one to follow crazy schemes and fad diets but it's impossible to ignore results like this: two weeks ago I could barely waddle around, was having problems sleeping, breathing, I had long-since packed away my regular clothes, and was experiencing many other smaller inconveniences that resulted from the crazy changes my body was going through as it bore pregnancy. Today I feel like a whole new person. How did I recover from this condition, you ask? Although I wouldn't recommend this procedure for everyone, most people who have been in a similar position to mine will attest that the only way to get oneself on the road to recovery from this condition is to undergo a painful, and sometimes lengthy, procedure called giving birth. I can't stress enough how painful such a procedure is but it is entirely natural and something that has been practiced by all societies throughout the ages. If it isn't new, why would I have to promote it, you ask? Because of the stunning results. At the point of giving birth I instantly lost ten pounds and immediately felt I could breathe better and manage to lie on my back without passing out. Although it took several days to recover from the side effects of the birth, within a week I had lost twenty pounds and was able to start wearing regular jeans again! As it should be, the rest of the weight will likely take longer to lose but it's a steady process that is helped along by a very special result of the birthing procedure. A baby is a wonderful thing and, among its many marvels, works to help in your goal to lose weight not only by literally eating the calories out of you but also, little by little, motivating you to get back into an active lifestyle. The special design of these babies ensures that as they grow you slowly become accustomed to carrying their increasing weight until you have little problem with the heaviest of weights. They are also equipped with special alarms to remind you to do various calorie-burning tasks as you care for them. Who needs a smart-phone or a personal trainer when you can have a baby to keep you on track?! *Results may vary