do I actually like lit?

I adore reading. Therefore I am an English major. That was my initial idea for chosing such a major for my studies. However, there are certain question and states of my being that cause me to question the straightforwardness of this equation. I have reached nothing conclusivly (in keeping with the uncertain nature of lit studies, of course) but will outline several lines of thought that have led me along this road.
I have come to enjoy class discussions and studying novels in a different way from the pure enjoyment I used to derive from reading. The enjoyment is often deepend with the various exercises we lit people put these books through. But this is not always the case, especially when the novel in question is one to which I hold a particular fondness. I occasionally find my favourites ruined and no longer recognizable after I have cut and snipped away and used them to support some one or other argument.
I often have the feeling that I would enjoy essays more were I to be the one to come up with the thought process to be set down on the paper and had I the time to give it serious thought. However, I use the subjunctive mood because this is one of those hypothetical cases where reality will never ever in my whole life meet together with these ideals. With this aspect, as with so many others in life, I have to take these ideals and make the best of the situation at hand.
As much as I enjoy studying books, as much as I have really enjoyed the focus on discussing the ideas behind the books and periods this year (as opposed to the information-supplying formation years) I still find that there is almost nothing like dissecting a book to ruin my enjoyment of it. Perhaps there is too much focus on the constituent parts above the whole [I know this is a re-hashing of the previous thought but it leads more fully into my following discussion of the dissection of poetry below].
Perhaps that is why I favour the dissection of poetry over novels; perhaps I don't expect to make friends with the poetry before cutting it up. Once it is cut up I usually understand it a little better but that is not so much the case with novels.

There is no real point to this post besides the search for meaning for some of the thoughts I've been having concerning my lit studies and why I am here... please ignore if you don't want to be bored. Except if you've read down to here, this warning is too late. Oh well.