Pain

I know that much greater minds than mine have attempted to tackle the enormous topic of pain. I'm sure that they have much more profound thoughts to share than anything I could generate. Pain isn't something that I have taken much time to ponder in the past probably because I haven't had a great deal of experience with pain. However, dealing with this kidney stone has brought to my doorstep the reality that so many face of living with pain every day. The difference is that I know that once it has passed, the pain will pass with it. But I still would like to take this opportunity to explore some of what I have been thinking about these days.

Drawing from my readings (a large part of how I experience life) I think about stories of invalids who claimed pain as their teacher and refiner. Patience seems to be one of the virtues often associated with a drawn-out illness (long-suffering). Thankfulness for small mercies is another that seems prevalent as does growing empathy for others who suffer in various ways.

But what happens once the pain is removed? I know, personally, from smaller illnesses and bouts of pain that immediately after I feel so thankful and believe that I will live with more purpose but this new attitude soon gets cast to the wayside. How quickly I forget all I have thought about only wanting to be well while sick and the regular selfish cares quickly take over once again. Does the same apply after a longer illness? I know it is impossible to live on a continuous high and that life will always have ups and downs whether sickness is present or not. But virtues and character traits such as patience and thankfulness and empathy should be things that are not affected as much by external circumstances. If, then, they have been growing while one is sick, they should still be stronger than before once one is well. Perhaps I have never had a long enough experience of pain in my life to be character-building.

One thing that has struck me recently concerning the pain (physical or otherwise) that I have experienced in the past is that I have no actual memory of the pain itself. The only way that I remember feeling pain is through what I thought of it or how I described it or reacted to it at the time. I don't know if this is just me or if it is common amongst humanity. Anyway these are some of the scattered thoughts I have been having (and a record for the future me that I did, in fact, experience pain at this point...). I hope that this pain has not been in vain and that I will be a better person because of it.