Stuff

Every once in a while I get overwhelmed by the state of our apartment. Often it gets to the point where we have no horizontal surface that is not covered with an assortment of items. This seems horrific (at least to me) but it's hard to put everything in its place when we don't actually have space for everything. Most of this stuff can't be put away. That seems like an extreme claim but more understandable when you understand that we have to store all of the tools and work miscellany here in the house. Also my little man is at the stage where he loves pulling things out and down but hasn't reached that where I can try to get him to clean up afterwards. The mess often builds much faster than I am able to avert any part of it. It's interesting to see how these piles of stuff can affect my whole outlook on life. Having got myself into a funk over it, it then seeps into how I treat those around me. Not good. My boy had his first meltdown this afternoon and looking at it calmly and rationally afterwards I realize that along with his being under the weather and over-tired from skipping his morning nap, I was not interacting with him as calmly and fairly as I try to normally. I am not about to blame all bad behaviour on myself but I definitely can see how I did more to feed the fire than calm him down. Thankfully James was home, wasn't in the same funk and was able to step in and make it better. It is true that joy doesn't come from our circumstances but I have to remember that it shouldn't be brought down by them either. I also should remember that living with piles of things around me is not the worst of circumstances to survive. I have so much to be thankful for apart from and even within my current circumstances and I will think on these things.